I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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