Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Randomize
