Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
