his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
you never un-have a 4some
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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