Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
