dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
