Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
