I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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