i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
