Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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