Plan B is the new Plan A
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
