Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
