when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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