Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just googled if crying burns calories
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
