How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
