What a fucking waste of an outfit
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
