i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
