Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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