so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
