The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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