I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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