Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
