i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
