An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
