How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
