You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize