Small penises have feelings too.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
