i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We were destined to go to rehab together
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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