one two three fourrrrnication!
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
