Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
