I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
