we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
