Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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