I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She even gives head with a lisp.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
