Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Randomize
