u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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