I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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