I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
