All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
