Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
