Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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