Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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