I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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