No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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