You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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