It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
