Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
This beer is not sobering me up at all
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Randomize
