There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
