Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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