please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
